Depression

Scary word, isn't it? Have you suffered from it? I have and I still do from time to time. Nothing to be ashamed of, it's not one's fault (but it is one's responsability to try and get better). The first time I pronounced the word "depressed" I must have been about 10 or 11... and it's been haunting me ever since, but I'm not scared of it anymore... as it always manages to go away, sooner or later... and I always learn something from it.

There is not "one" depression; there are many different types and every depression (if you unfortunately go through more than one episode) is different. Some are more manageable, others take more time and soul-searching. Jim Carrey once said that depression could be translated as "deep rest". Yes, your soul needs rest, you need time to rethink you life, environment, relationship(s), job or whatever it is... and stop battling with yourself. You need to finally listen to your innermost needs and respect them. Something needs to change. However big or little it may be.

Scientists say that happiness is made up of 50% genetic factors, 40% your mindset and 10% external factors. Seeing as depression is the opposite of happiness so to say, and considering we can't really change our genetical makeup, we have left our mindset and our environment (or external factors) to work upon if we want to increase our happiness. Personally, being a highly sensitive person, my environment is very important and I'm very easily impacted by it whether it be a smell, a sound or my home, relationship or job. It all matters a lot, probably more than the average person (or at least non-highly sensitive person).

It takes a lot of courage to turn things around when we've realized that things just aren't working out, it's not easy or straightforward. One thing I've learned is that it's crucial to reach out during these hard times, to our friends, family, neighbour, whoever really... because we are NOT a burden, and everyone needs help and support from time to time and that's totally human, and you are human, thus perfectly imperfect. Depression is not a fatality - although it can be fatal - I've myself tried that a few times and I hope that will never happen again. One has to reach out and embrace what we're going through, what I mean by that is not run away. All our emotions have a purpose and we must live them and learn from them in order to move on as quickly and as healthily as possible. Denying our sadness or anger, or whatever painful emotion we're experiencing is just giving it more power over us. Give yourself the necessary time, take time off work if need's be. Listen to your needs, they're important, YOU'RE important.

My father, who passed away in August 2017 suffered from severe depression most of his life. He left us prematurely (to heart failure, not depression thankfully) and he helped me a lot and was always there for me, even all the way from England (my parents separated and he moved back to England for work just after we moved to France). Calls, texts, emails... he really made an effort, even while he was suffering himself, and I couldn't thank him enough. Connection is SO important. We are not alone, we are all connected. Buddhism and Stoicism have helped me A LOT when it comes to tackling depression (I'll talk more about them in another post).

Oh, and as we're talking about depression I'll quickly mention something about anxiety (while we're at it!) and something that helped me immensely. In fact, depression and anxiety are closely intertwined (as you may have experienced). Anyway, seeing as I began to suffer from mental illness from a fairly young age and that I had no access to a psychologist and that at times it could be unbearable, I had to look elsewhere for help, and that help I found in books and in particular Marcus Aurelius' "Meditations" when I was about 13. Marcus Aurelius was a Roman Stoic philosopher and the one aphorism that really "saved" me with anxiety at that time was "Don't let the future cause you anxiety, for the future will arrive in its own good time, and you'll have the same mind which you use now to deal with the present"... it's amazing how such a small and simple yet deep sentence, thought, can bring such clarity and hope. Never loose hope.

Much love and see you again soon for my next post I hope!

Phoebe

P.S I'd be thrilled to hear from you, so feel free to get in contact :) Stay strong people! Things always manage to turn around, keep hope... I did, and I'm thankful I did and still am.

#depression #mentalhealth #mentalillness #recovery #noshame #awareness #anxiety #help #support #compassion